last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
