I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
