they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
