Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
