WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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