lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
