I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
