I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize