yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
