My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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