love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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