I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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