I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize