well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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