I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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