I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
