pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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