oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
