google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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