The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
