We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
