woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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