I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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