i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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