The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
