i don't like sucking hair
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
