Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
