Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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