Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize