Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
