I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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