If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
