Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
