dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize