k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
