How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
