Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
