k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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