idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
