I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
