census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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