Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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