just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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