her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Couch. On fire.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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