why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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