your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
