He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
