he shaved USA in his pubs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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