so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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