His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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