I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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