Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
