she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
