dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
