Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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