Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
