ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
