I showed him my bush... on skype.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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