got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
