I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
