Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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