i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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