Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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