I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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