We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
