i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This baby is an asshole
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
