How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
